Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The first Rotten Pear of the bunch

The White Rose Bar & Grill
48 N. Beaver St., York, PA - LL

Usually I can take or leave the food at The White Rose.. I am particularly keen on the "Pit Beef/Turkey/Pork salad" however upon inspecting the menu, I find that my sure thing is no longer listed. I select instead the Blackened Shrimp and Scallop Caesar Salad. That and some raw Oyster shooters for an appetizer. We were seated outside; in hindsight we should have just waited for a table inside to free up. As the temperature soared, my appetizer was served. I can't complain about the oysters.. they were fresh and had good flavor. Moments after slurping down the last one I started feeling woozy. 95˚ was having its way with me. Thinking I could make it to the restroom to cool down, I excused myself from the table and made my way inside. As I waited in line, I noticed that the handrailing I was white knuckle gripping started "moving" (hmmm, earthquake? time warp?)... then I realized that it couldn't be the railing that was moving!! 

I awoke some seconds later wondering where the hell I was and why the woman hovering over me sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher. A few staff members came to my aid.. I overheard rumblings of "All we need is a lawsuit!" which would have warranted an equally impudent comment, had I been cognizant of  all my faculties. I was told to lay down, wait for the ambulance.. heaven forbid I become a liability. They gave me a glass of water, only to take it away moments later. I suppose they thought I had been drinking (which I had not) The threat of a lawsuit however, did not stop the constant flow of polluted patrons using both the men's and ladies rooms.. everyone had to step OVER me to get through. Not around, OVER. You would have thought if the staff were so concerned, maybe they could have pulled out one of those little yellow caution cones? 

Needless to say, the ambulance took an eon to arrive. By then I had regained most of my motor skills and decided to leave. Our meals were boxed and the check presented as I still lay on the floor. classy. Wearing a sleeveless shirt, I could only imagine what kind of restroom floor goo I was covered in from all of that traffic.

Back in the land of climate control, I attempted to eat my salad. The scallops were large, pleasing to the eye but mushy and raw in the centers. The shrimp were okay - however there were literally three in the entire dish. I may be bitter, perhaps jaded by the little "incident" of earlier but my taste buds don't lie. I will not be frequenting this establishment any longer. The priorities for food and customer service - and maybe just doing the right thing for a stranger - are dire.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

El Rodeo Mexican Restaurant - Kris

724 Loucks Rd, York, PA 17404, (717) 845-1341

My Dearest El Rodeo,
We’ve recently celebrated our 10 year anniversary together. These past 10 years have been everything I’ve ever been looking for in a relationship. It almost seemed like fate that brought us together. I had recently started a new job and my co-worker had suggested we go to lunch. I think she knew we’d be perfect for each other. We walked through your doors and it was as though I was transported back to your motherland. My first taste of your homemade tortillas and unnaturally sublime salsa...my heart sank into my stomach, literally. My co-worker suggested the number 2 with chicken and I followed her lead. Our food came out in what seemed to be 5 minutes flat. All conversation came to a halt as soon as I laid eyes on your breathtaking meal. I started tearing into the dish right away. The hand pulled chicken in a soft shell taco, topped with a red sauce that I have no words to describe, the creamiest melted cheese that shouldn't even be legal...my god I'm in love. It took all of 30 seconds for me to eat the number 2 and down the side of rice and beans. My co-worker took one look at my cleaned plate and just said "WOW and I thought I ate fast". She said and I quote “I knew that’s the day I had met my match”. Ever since that first experience I’ve been yours. You had me from hola. I am looking forward to spending a lifetime of eating with you. You’ve raised the bar when it comes to Mexican cuisine and no one will ever compare. I sincerely thank you.

This post is dedicated to Kim. I couldn't have found it without you.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

El Rodeo, York PA - Llara

El Rodeo - the yummy constant in an ever changing world. It may not seem fair to review a restaurant that you know like the back of your hand, though i decided if i were to depart from my standing order, that would be fair.

Frozen strawberry margaritas, chips and guacamole start off the fiesta. A few smokes and drinks later the meals arrive. I have ordered the Chalupa Texana - Fried corn tortilla topped with chicken, lettuce, cheese, sour cream, guac and tomatoes. Curiously enough, the menu lists this item as "lowfat". I think someone needs to explain this concept to the folks there.

It's good, the food is always delivered HOT and that's crucial for Mexican in my book. I still prefer some of my accustomed favorites, but i suppose it's alright to stray from the usual now and then. When it comes to food anyway.

Note: they don't really serve lobster at El Rodeo - this is just to pay homage to my magnificent sunburn. It's pretty bad when the person you are dining with has a coat on and requests a blanket, yet you are still sweating while downing frozen cocktails.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Jethro's Restaurant - Kris

As I walk up the step's of the corner restaurant Jethro's, located at 659 1st St, Lancaster, PA, it reminds me of the kind of place that is an undiscovered treasure known only by local foodies. Joined with fellow food sluts including my counterpart of Nice Pear, we enter the front doors of this quaint establishment. My first impression upon entering Jethro's is the overwhelming feeling of relaxation. Soft, warm and flattering lighting, which is always preferred when dealing with a mild case of adult acne. An unpretentious, low key atmosphere with an air of style. I am now ready to sit back and enjoy the evening's feast.

Round 1: The Appetizers
Looking over the wonderfully innovative menu, we all agreed the best way to approach this meal was to order two appetizers to really get a feel for the cuisine. The shining star for me was the calamari. Typically fried, at Jethro's restaurant the succulent squid is sauteed in a garlic and butter sauce. My counterpart dipped a piece of bread into the dish and advised that I do the same. I decided then that this could have been my entire meal.

Round 2: The Main Course
It was a hard decision to make, especially with the daily menu board beckoning me to try one of it's offerings. I decided on the pork loin in a thyme sauce accompanied by garlic mashed potatoes. When my dish arrived I knew by the mouth watering aroma I had decided wisely. The pork was cooked to perfection and the sauce was a perfect pairing. It brought out the flavor of the pork without being overpowering. When eaten with a bite of the mashed spuds, I literally had a threesome going on in my mouth. It was my first Nice Pear foodgasm. It is a moment I will never forget.

Round 3: The Desserts
We started this wonderful food experience with two selections, so it is fitting that we also end with two. The desserts chosen were a fudge brownie with a hint of orange flavoring and a cappuccino cheesecake. With beautifully presented desserts, it is obvious that the chefs at Jethro's know that people eat with their eyes first. The brownie with a hint of orange was decadent and when eaten with a bite of the cappuccino cheesecake, it was the perfect blend of flavors for this Nice Pear palette.

Jethro's Restaurant in Lancaster PA: 4 out of 5 Pears

Jethro's Restaurant - LL

Jethro's was formerly a private home and , consequently, only had room for 3 booths and 8 tables in the dining area for a total seating capacity of 30. Although I have been to this establishment many times before, it's still a ridiculous amount of excitement when i walk through the door. Or actually find parking. Though walking a block is totally worth it! The bar section of the restaurant is dimly lit, the kind of candlelight that flatters even the most bizarre of flaws.. note to self, do not pick up men at this bar. The seating is comfy and the menu is printed in a metallic ink as to play off of the flickering candlelight. Something to be appreciated after you've been staring at a blinking monitor all week. All cozy, check. Still allowed to smoke, check!!! I am ready.

Round 1: Appetizers

YUMMMM. Nothing better to go with your Sidecar (a Jethro's specialty cocktail) than some yummy appetizers. I've had the calamari and the mozzarella before and chose the mozz. It's beyond yummy served cold with the  prosciutto wrap. The peppers add a bit of kick to the dish.

Round 2: Main Course

YUM. again. Many times I've been to Jethro's I've witnessed my friends devouring the signature Jethro burger. I have not yet been brave enough to try it. As a pseudo-vegetarian I try to avoid anything made of cow... but I digress. It was amazing. Served open faced on a baugette with veggies as a side, it's more than a meal.. sharing included.

Round 3: The Sweet Escape

WOW. I'm not much of a chocolate person... BUT I may have been reformed after this. The fudge brownie was more like a chunk of homemade fudge.. and just as tasty. I'm not huge cappuccino fan but when coupled with the fudge brownie, it was almost like a rediscovery that the Reese's people should have been made aware of long ago. I believe I even stated "out loud" that this was better than any man. Ok, so I hate them. But I love chocolate : )

Jethro's Restaurant, Lancaster, PA: 4 out of 5 Pears

Flushed Out - The Ladies Guide to the "Ladies"

As far as "planning" goes, I may be one of the most anal when it comes to details. Thus, I choose to provide every woman a service that's long past due. I give you "Flushed Out" the guide to every potty that I encounter in said establishment. Your guide to just how secure to make that ass gasket.. and how high to hover.

Jethro's Upstairs Potty

Jethro's Upstairs Potty
4 out of 5 flushes